User:Vtaylor/here be dragons/laura on listening

2019.11.29 from niece Laura Coxworth on Facebook * Communication Life Hack!! Dramatically change the way you connect with people in three easy steps (I’m not joking)

1) assume they don’t want your brilliant ideas to solve it. I get paid a REALLY good salary to listen to people’s problems and help guide them. even with it being my job I’d say easily 80% of people don’t want solutions or advice. When I keep that in mind I listen 💯 more effectively and empathize way more. Because I’m not trying to solve their problems. Empathy drives connection (Brene Brown)

2) ONLY when someone says “what should I do?” Do you even BEGIN to think about solutions for them.

3) THEN START with the following question: “What have you already tried? “ This will jump start the conversation and you will avoid patronizing them, you will give them credit for their wisdom, you will give them the space to share what they prioritize. ANNNNND it will save you from embarrassing yourself when you assume they are incompetent by offering the MOST obvious solution.

3a) while they are telling you what they’ve already done, think of FIVE more questions to ask.

ONLY THEN you may impart all the wisdom you have gathered in your vast experiences of walking in wisdom.

You will find people feel very heard, people will appreciate your input, and most of all they will think you are amazing when most of the time they have talked themselves into their own solution!

You are welcome!